Parents Spending Time with Children and the Sacrifices Mothers Make



Posted: Sunday, January 18, 2009

by
Educational Toy Medley

" Cats in the Cradle" by Jimmy Buffet comes to mind when I regret the time I didn't spend with my children as they were growing up. I'm sure you've heard the song. The lyrics basically bemoan the feelings a father has after his son has grown into a man and turned out to be just like he turned out with the same amount of time for him that he had for his son as he was growing up. The moral of the story is you will never be able to make up time you missed spending with your children-you only have one opportunity. Speaking from experience, "I wish I knew then, what I know now."

I was one of the fortunate mothers who didn't have to work as my children were growing up. I had plenty of time to spend with my children but as I reflect back on those days, I realize how selfish I was with my time. I loved my children and I took care of them but oftentimes resenting the amount of time their care required. I raised and nurtured my children to the best of my ability given the tools I was gifted with by my mother. How you are raised influences a great deal how you raise your children and thinking back my mother was not the warm and fuzzy type mother. It is essential to realize giving your children the gift of your time will become their most treasured possession in their adult lives. Giving birth to a child makes you a mother, requires no skill but doesn't necessarily make you a good mother. Being a good mother requires dedication, sacrifice and self discipline--putting children's needs and inopportune timing before your own.

From the day they are born, you have to realize that the time you thought you would have to yourself to paint your nails and pluck your eyebrows is negotiated into time you spend working on your child's homework project due tomorrow requiring your participation late into the night. You learn to sacrifice the time you thought you had set aside for putting on your make-up only to have to forego it in order to redress the toddler you had cleaned up, dressed and prepared for the visit to the pediatrician only to repeat the process again because while you were dressing yourself, little Johnny poured himself a glass of milk only to spill it all over himself, leaving no time for make-up and you leave the house au natural. You just finished cleaning the living room for your anticipated guests only to hear Suzy calling you to help her pitch her "house" between the sofa and the love seat. You know you have to wash the sliding glass doors two times with your three-year olds help, but you give in after you are reminded, "But Mommy, you said the next time you washed the windows, I could help." And then there's the one bedtime story that turns into three or four, the last trip to the bathroom and another drink of water--turning a 15 minute bedtime routine into a 45-minute ordeal before you can finally sit down to watch your favorite T.V. show only to be "rudely" interrupted by "Mommy, I have a tummy ache" and the possibility of a yet another sleep deprived night.

Don't miss out on the only opportunity you will have to make a positive, fulfilling impression on your children. Give of yourself often and freely don't regret the time you sacrifice for them - you will never have the opportunity to do it again. Believe me, you will receive your reward, you'll just have to be patient for 25 to 30 years!!

Educational Toy Medley , is to E-Commerce. With two daughters dedicated to elementary education, Elke Smith, President, felt compelled to work closely with her daughters dedicated to elementary education and contribute what she could through her business helping promote happy, healthy children. Her website offers only the finest quality educational toys and products. Please visit http://educationaltoymedley.com .

Reprint rights are permitted for free.

This Article has been viewed 786 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Susan Thom
 3 years 10 days ago.
174 fans.
hi elke,
 
i could have written about the contents of this well written article myself. i feel the same way. one thing i forgot to be aware of as i was doing the stay at home, 3 kids under 5 thing, and that was: they will grow up fast, and go out on their own. to me, it was a devastating feeling when my 2 older kids moved out, and my oldest son left for the airforce last week, now i try to make sure my 18 year old has my time and as good a life as he can. although, doing so gave my other 2 the will and determination to venture on their own :)
 
thanks for sharing, and i hope you continue writing,
 
welcome to searchwarp,
 
best regards,
 
sue thom
» left by Elke Smith 3 years 10 days ago.
Hi Sue,
 
I appreciate your comment.  It's encouraging to know there are mothers that feel as I do.  We can never go back to do a better job, what we did and what we sacrificed is where the outcome stands today.  After I submitted this article, it prompted me to continue thinking along those lines and made me realize, our children will always be children (our babies, if you will) and even though my daughters are now 34 and 37, it is still important to sacrifice my time for them.  It made me aware of how important it is for me to sacrifice in love and always be willing to give of my time which I will continue to do hoping to fill in some of the gaps I may have missed during their formative years.  Sometimes, I just have to stop and reflect on how blessed I am they turned out as great as they have.  Good luck in continuing to be a good, devoted mother!!!
» left by Anonymous
 2 years 293 days ago.
Thank you so much. I regret not focussing on my son when he was very small. But this article may just be the beginning of living with out that regret.
» left by Elke Smith 2 years 291 days ago.
I'm glad that my article gave you the ability to realize that hope is all we have after we have done the job of mothering to the best of our ability.  Unfortunately, we can't go back and do it over and beating ourselves up over it only hinders the positve influence you have over your children and grandchildren if you let it. 
 
It has been about 25 years and although I thought I didn't give my children what they needed as they were in my care, today I realize I was mistaken and who my children have grown to be has made me proud of their contributions to their children and to society.  Even though my job as mother is for all intents and purposes done, I still work very hard to give them postive reinforcement to make their life more enjoyable.  We have to face it.  Once a mother, always a mother-good, bad or indifferent.
 
Enjoy your son today for who he will become in spite of your inablity to think your mothering skills left a lot to be desired.  And if your diamond still needs a little polish, continue polishing and a brilliant shine will be your ultimate reward.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.